Week 7: Shaving and Cicadas

Week 7

Every time I go to shave, I assume there’s someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, ‘I’m gonna go shave, too.’

Week 7 and things are finally starting to progress in a manner that will allow me to stop worrying quite as much. For the first 6 weeks, all I did was bitch and moan about my progress, or complete lack there of. I apologize, as I was acting a fool.

The cynical blinders came off this week for a couple reasons:

  1. I ran somewhat faster, and
  2. I didn’t struggle.

Why should running faster dictate my contentment? Easy, I went from averaging around 7’15” earlier in the season to 7’45”-ish for Weeks 3-6 and when you’re trying to qualify for something by running 7’05” for 26.2 miles, that regression is a bitter pill to swallow. So now I’m heading in the right direction again, hopefully I can keep this momentum and continue to knock that time lower over the next 9 weeks.

My “Moment of Zen” occurred this week during Saturday’s 20-miler. The first 10 miles were kind of blah, and the next 5 were progressively better. Yet, it was the last 5 miles that were perplexing, as it was as if the first 15 were merely a warm-up and a switch was flipped at mile 15 and I was able to run carefree. How the hell does that happen? More importantly, I hope I’m able to capture that moving forward! Is it the result of the training? My attitude? The fact that the band-aids were still over my nipples? Who knows, but I liked it!


Odd that I would mention band-aids and nipples. It’s probably just as odd that I’d start this post with a quote from the late Comedian Mitch Hedberg about shaving; however some things just need to be discussed. I’m convinced that God made man’s nipples more apt to chaffing during running as payback for Sodom and Gomorrah. Yet being the compassionate God that he is, he gave man the capacity to protect himself from the unbearable pain of wet fabric to nip friction…enter the band-aid.

If you think that the band-aid alone would allow for this malady to disappear for men worldwide, you’re tragically mistaken. For man is covered in varying degrees of fur and band-aids don’t stick to fur, especially sweaty fur, for any prolonged period of time. Thus, man must shave his fur in order for the band-aids to offer the barrier against God’s wrath.

That leads us to 9:30 PM on Friday night. We had just returned from dinner, a few mojitos and watermelon shots at Giorgio’s (my favorite). What better time to man-scape?! I mean there’s got to be someone else on the planet shaving their chest?! So with a slightly tipsy hand, I was able to successfully navigate this escapade and set the tone for a successful run the following day.


Short and sweet, cicadas nasty. These little bastards are also obviously horrible with geography as they’re not supposed to be up here in New Hampshire. Please fly south, mate and then burrow and die. Like mosquitoes, your purpose on this planet is not justified!

Excuse me you disgusting bastard, I do believe you are lost!

Excuse me you disgusting bastard, I do believe you are lost!

Thanks for letting me rant. Just one last post after this until my hiatus (8/12). In the wise words of Curtis Mayfield “keep on keepin on”.

Categories: Running

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13 replies

  1. Congrats on the long run. I’m looking for that illusive free feeling during my long runs. Maybe one day. I really love Giordano’s by the way. We used to eat there when we came to Chicago to visit friends. Awesome pizza (probably one reason I was almost 300 lbs). 🙂

    • Thanks! I love Giordano’s too, and Chicago for that matter; however I was talking about Giorgio’s in little ole Merrimack, NH. If you’re ever out to the Granite State, it’s a must 🙂

      It will come my friend. Keep the faith (I know easier said than done).

    • Hahahaha I legit laughed out loud reading about your band aided nipples- funny visual! But in response to ‘bitching about progress’ I think we all do that. We set a tone and get on a roll and from then on, we are comparing ourselves to the best or always trying to be better than our best, which is great, but sometimes we need to step back and look at each accomplishment separately from one another- you’re doing great with your training!

  2. I cannot believe that you can go out on a Friday night and have a few beverages (and a shot?!) and then get up for a 20 on Saturday morning. Do you ever run on a Saturday morning without some degree of hangover…? Maybe you should experiment? Maybe celebrate Thirsty Thursday for a change? 😉

    It’s so great to hear of your 20 mile success, I was looking forward to reading this to see how you felt it went. Congratulations on finding your pace at mile 15!! Hope you have another great week!

    • Thanks Carrie 🙂 I hope you have a great week as well! How’s your running coming along? Still think you two should sign-up for Smuttynose!

      As for running without a hangover. Honestly, I have this disorder where I don’t get really hungover. It’s a nice problem to have. However more to your point though, I could only imagine what running would be like without a few drinks the night before. Might have to try that!

      Make sure you stay in touch w/ Christine. We should get together again soon!

      • I’m not surprised to hear you say you don’t get the hangover “symptoms” – because if you did, you wouldn’t be doing 20 miles early the next morning 😉 I still think that you might experience dehydration on some level though, even without symptoms. Just a curiousity. Drinking definitely changes my ability to do anything active the next day even if I don’t feel especially hungover (sure I can hike but it’s taking me A LOT longer than it should!).

        I’m running but not enough. Smuttynose weekend is getting more challenging for me, we have a wedding the night before and I have a company 5k the day before. I want to do at least a half this fall and will start looking for one soon. Will definitely stay in touch, espeically with you dropping off social media, I’ll be forced to hang out with you in person. 🙂

      • I agree with you 100%, I’m sure it’s negatively impacting me and I do need to cut it back. After the wine dinner this weekend I think I will substantially.

        As for your excuses…viable, but food for thought, I ran the Manchester Marathon last year the morning after a wedding in Hampton. Not that I’m one for peer pressure, but just saying. I get it though.

        Finally, glad you will. Def need more CarrieCarb in our lives 🙂

  3. Isn’t it strange how sometimes it takes so long to “warm up” and/or get into a rhythm? That happens to me, too, where I slog through 3/4 of a run only to finally start feeling good right before the run is over.

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